2012

i just went home from watching 2012 and seriously.. this movie should be called die hard 5... or the luckiest family on earth... they defy science and cheat death.

i give this movie a 5.5/10, mainly to the good special effect, and i'm pretty sure 80% of the movie consists of CG, CG and more CG.

anyway, the main interest of this movie is the topic i discussed with a fren on my way home. I said, if i was there, i'm pretty sure i won't let the people in. It's either us or them.. and he said, i say that only because i'm not in that situation. if i let them die, i lost my humanity. i'll live but i'll be missing something and be reminded to that moment for the rest of my life.

maybe that's true. maybe not. but i really feel strongly that if i was in that ship.. i'll vote no. it's better to see the bigger picture. better safe few than none. sound selfish, sound arrogant, but that's life. if i was put on the other side and they decided not to save me, i'm okay with it. after all, i'm always curious what death is like.

i actually consider what might have happened during Noah's time. when he's finally in the ark, what did he feel about those people left out. maybe they jeered at him before, but soon when the rain doesn't stop, won't they realize they are now in danger? won't they scream at Noah that they are sorry?

Did Noah open the door? no.

in the movie, we now that they are all going to be okay, after all they are the main character. but in real life, there are chances it will go wrong. what would you feel if you let them in, but in the end you and i going to die? will you say "at least i have my humanity intact"?

you just postpone their death, be real! what humanity? sacrifice means something if there's a purpose, there's a goal. if you say you help them to preserve your humanity, aren't u the selfish one? if in the end everyone dies, that's not sacrifice, that's suicide. and suicide is a sin.

you see, Jesus sacrifice means something because he saves us from eternal damnation which is the main goal. that what i see as true "saving humanity"

if i sacrifice myself to let those people in, and i suppose we all saved like in the movie, they are still going to die, sooner or later. and who will save them?

that's why, if it comes down to the ultimate choice, us or them. i think i'll choose us. unless there's a more than likely chance that we can all be saved.

weirdest dream ever

last night was very hot, and i rolling over and over till finally fallen asleep due to tiredness of the rolling.. aniwei i had the weirdest dream in my life.

so my sister is having a mind battle with one psychopath, it's like he demands something and my sister doesn't want to give it to him, in fact she wants to subdue that psychopath by using his craving. All in the while she's being held hostage.

Then somehow, this crazy dude barge into the room, and shot me in the head. With a shotgun. Maybe i'm the first guy who ever seen his head exploded (literally) and still alive. hehehe

then to my disappointment, i become a wandering ghost. I thought there's heaven or hell but zip/nada/nothing. I become a ghost and i exact revenge on that pyscho dude. I gutted him with a singe stroke of knife vertically on his stomach.

Then i realize, if i become a ghost then he can become one as well. With that realisation, i tried to exorcise him by putting salt on the corpse and burn it. Learn this trick from supernatural.

Unfortunately, it's a scam. He becomes a ghost, but somehow looks friendlier.. So i though maybe the purifying process actually change him into a nice ghost.

Wrong. He pull out a knife and tried to stab me. JEEZ! I'm dead dude!

Anyway, after i managed to get that knife away from him, we realise that both of us has died and it's pointless to kill each other. So we decided to become an ally.

And the alarm clock ring. Thus once again, i walk as a human in a hot summer day.

why i join the christmas choir

because not everyone can sing, but everyone can worship the Lord. I believe the main purpose for the choir is the 2nd one :)

anointment

i just went home from the longest compass service so far. It took us 3 hours for the service itself, i believe it's because God's presence is so strong that almost everyone enjoy the presence of Him, and getting new anointment and fire. Well, everyone.. except me.

During the whole time, i was busy going around back and forth outside, not interested in coming in and supposedly enjoy the presence. And i ask myself, why do i distant myself from him? And i truly baffled, i don't know why i did that. It just seem that i've been through that before, in fact, i've experience it couple of times yet, there's no longing there.

Don't get me wrong, i love God, and i truly want to know him more, but during that time, i simply felt nothing. In fact, i feel bored. And now i'm wondering, is it because i'm not humble enough to ask God for his anointing again?


I honestly don't know. In fact, I feel bored. I feel like this kind of thing happened from time to time yet nothing great happened. I was longing for some kind of movement, a rising of a passionate generation for God when this kind of situation happened, but every time, i always feel that we hit a brick wall and remain stagnant... for a while and then another anointment is required.

Maybe that's why i become skeptic about this whole situation. Maybe I don't want to ask for more anointment but do nothing.

I believe, or rather, i WANT to believe that his anointment is already with us all along. sure asking for new anointment is good from time to time, but shouldn't we ask for new anointing because we have shared the fire and now ask for more?

It doesn't felt right that we ask for his anointing and then nothing happened, and after a while ask for it again. It seems to me like a wasted anointment.

I'm unsure about all of this, maybe i need some contemplation to understand what God really wants and hopefully he'll answer me.

KoG

alright, so today's sharing was from KO Andy, and at the end of his sharing, he speaks about the parable of KoG is like a feast.

And then it struck me. God invites us to come into his feast a.k.a God's party (using this term is a bit pejorative but it's more common haha)

anyway, God invites us to his party! Maybe it's just me but before i got this revelation i wasn't focusing on the fact that it is a feast, and of course a feast speaks about celebration/fun/joyful/cheerful.

So there you go, God invites us to join the fun. It wasn't like he invites us to hear a long speech or something boring. I bet his feast are going to be the best party ever.

So why don't u come along? and bring friends too!

email this morning

From: Stewart Gray
Sent: Wednesday, 14 October 2009 8:46 AM
To: z.Vic.Mitcham Office
Subject: Parking Inspector



Hi All,



To anyone who parked on the street today, a Parking Inspector just chalked the tyres of your vehicle. That should give you about two hours to move your car.



... and your time starts ... NOW!



Stewart Gray
Quality Assurance Manager


From: Iyan Librata
Sent: Wednesday, 14 October 2009 8:48 AM
To: Stewart Gray
Subject: RE: Parking Inspector



Wouldn’t it be more fun if you tell them 5 minutes before its due?




Stewart Gray:

You’re evil

Clear Solar | 8/613 Whitehorse Road, Mitcham VIC 3132 Australia | www.clearsolar.com.au
D: +61 3 9837 1029 | F: +61 3 9872 3488 | M: 0418 540 424 | E: stewart.gray@clearsolar.com.au

supernatural

After being addicted to Scrubs, now i'm addicted to Supernatural, the show is amazingly good that i neglected Scrubs for this one. I'll be back Scrubs, i will.

Anyway, one of the eps that i watched last night was so good, that it tweak my imagination...

What if our life is actually just a repetition, what happen after we die? What if dead is a format button, where all your memory got erased and you start everything all over again. It might be similar to reincarnation, but instead of living as someone else, you just simply restarting ur life, with all memory erased.

It might explain why de javu happens.

So whenever i die, i'll just be back at 1987, be born again with no memory whatsoever, and live the life again, not knowing that everything has happened before.

From a 3rd person perspective it's kinda boring, but well, your memory is erased so you don't know what has happened.

And people say: Just live your life like you never lived it twice. Who knows, we might have lived this life a million times already.

Anyway, it's just another imagination running wild.. sometimes i wish i don't have such a crazy brain. I'll stop now.