heaven?

I once thought about this issue and i'm still struggling with it. What is heaven?

Since i was little, the image of heaven is that it's a place of happiness, cloudy and bright of God's glory... And of course hell is the exact opposite of that, with fiery flame and such things.

But then again, there's another thought. Heaven is "only" for the believers(i put quotation mark because i'm not even sure about this, or rather i hope that there's some exception to that). The reason i am hoping is because we are surrounded by unbelievers. If supposed one that i loved ended up being unbeliever, and s/he ended up in hell, how do i suppose to live in heaven? Wouldn't that make living in heaven is actually hellish for me?

We might justify by saying that it is the reason why we need to spread the gospel and hoping that God will be gracious enough to save them... which is another issue for me because i know some cases where you have tried to bring them in, yet they refused. We still love them, and we don't have other option but to pray for them.

What if they still don't believe? What if they manage to believe but fall because they just can't cope with their faith?

There's a parable in the bible about Lazarus the poor and a rich man. The rich man ended up in hell and Lazarus in heaven. We might say that it is okay, the man is paying for his sin and Lazarus getting what he was denied in this world.

Well, what if the story's characters are changed? What if you go to heaven and your best friend goes to hell despite your best effort of converting him/her?

Do you still enjoy heaven?

Being a Christian, of course this should encourage me of working harder in spreading the gospel. But again, i know of cases when our best is not enough and it all depends on God's grace. And even then there's still possibility that unbelievers stay unbelief. In that case, what can i do?

Are we going to be brainwashed as soon as we enter heaven that we will forget all of our relationship? I draw this conclusion when Jesus said there's no husbands and wives in heaven.

Truly, this issue is confusing and makes me curious. I always eager to find out what's on the other side.. yet, suicide is not an option.

What can we expect on the other side? Is this curiosity can only be answered when we died? Or is there any possible explanation we can draw from the bible?

I believe heaven exists, but I'm still struggling with what can I found there. Like I said in previous post, i'm looking forward to heaven because that's where i can enjoy a relationship with God forever. But it scares me if somehow i can enjoy heaven while others suffers in hell. There's no way i can say: "that's what you get for your unbelief! See what i get here? LOL!"

What can i look forward to in the afterlife?