House 7.01

Awesome.. totally.

One thing that struck me the most... is when House was told that he's afraid when he's happy, cause he know it won't last...

And how Cuddy then just tell her that, no matter how messed up House is, she always think of him as an incredible guy.

I hope someday, someone will tell me that as well :D

words of wisdom

Happiness comes from how much you try to be happy not because you are just blessed with it.

The effort to overcome your suffering and the effort to become happy... those are the keys to make yourself truly happy.

nostalgic

i was browsing through my old hard disk today, when i found the old pictures folder from when i was still a student.

and i really feel nostalgic about it... why the past always seem to be better than the present? i used to laugh with frens, hang out with them, and now we are all to busy with our daily life... and some of them are not even in Melb anymore.

But life goes on... and now i can only believe that God has a better plan in the end..

someday..

we will look back and realise and laugh at how foolish we were. How things that seem to be important are in fact trivial.

complaining is an addiction

and i was an addict. i realise i complain easily. and i don't do it quietly, i tried to let other ppl now that i'm not happy.

and lately i realise, everyone probably know me as a complainer.. which isn't exactly a good way to be recognised isn't it. While some might actually put their shoes in mine and sympathize, most of the times, it's just plain annoying. Even i don't like a complainer if i see one.

So why i keep doing it? simple, i'm addicted to it. it's like smoking, first you are not used to it, but when you keep at it, it's become a natural thing. it serves as a stress relieve. and though i feel satisfaction from it, it's just not good for my mental health.

so i decided to stop this habit. and the only way to do it is just to stop completely. when i want to complain, just STOP. it's hard, but it's worth it.

I'm really looking forward to see me as a free man... not sure if i can really do it. but when there's a will, there's a way.

i am a whiner but i'll change :)

during the past weeks, through many events and conversation, i finally realise that it's time for me to go out there, and try to create my own life.

i whine a lot, nag a lot and complain a lot. i realise all of this, but i just cant help it, with no one to blame but myself. I was desperate. My life in melbourne has been nothing but a one man battle. All of my uni frens are all gone. My church frens got their own family or partner to take care of.

No i don't blame them, in fact, good on them for having someone to be there. I might be jealous in fact. But well, i suck it up, and try to hold on, keep saying to myself that i should be able to make it alone.

But time passed by and it's just become unbearable. Work isn't exactly stress-free and when weekend comes i just want to refresh myself. But there's no one there to hang out with.

and then somehow i manage to know some frens, through a somewhat bizzare occurence. I enjoy hang out with them, but it's probably one sided aniwei :). when i was suddenly cut off, i was panicking, i was desperate and try to redeem myself. all in a while i make things even worse. I realise that, but i cant help myself. Pathetic i know, but i guess when you are in it, you just can't think clear enough.

but yesterday i manage to catch up with friends, who in spite of their busy schedule, manage to meet with me. i learn a lot, and they suggested me to find a new community, he even agrees to introduce me to one of his friend who he said, will get along well with me.

i hope that everything will turn out to be the better. I'll try once again, and if it's still doesn't work, well probably God has another plan.

In any case, my first target is to stop whine. it feels good, but again it's destructive. i am no better than a smoke addict if i can't change this habit.

good luck and godspeed iyan, you need it.