a confession of a weary soul

I've been through some pretty bad stuff lately, one after another only leads me to question God. And although i still cling on to this faith, every time He smashes me with another situation, with my condition worsening, how am i still able to going on?

I choose to believe, i choose to remain faithful, and i knew He loves me. God put my faith to test, and I'm okay with that. And i believe that i've passed that, by His grace. But soon after, He put me to another test, just saying "this is good for you", ignoring my scream "please not again, it's just too much!". Many will say, just endure it, you will see that His plan is the best. All those cliche statements which i myself am able to say it to others if they are in my situation.

But after all i've been through, i just can't abandon this faith. I know, i have nowhere else to go. Which crushes me even more, cause i feel that God is doing all the bad things, cause He know i don't have anywhere else to go. Sounds preposterous or even blasphemous, but that is what i feel.

I've feel that i've given another shot, after another shot. Just trying to keep believing. But everytime, He just crushes me over and over again. I'm too tired to continue on.