well, after 1.5 weeks of ignoring my devotional time, i finally started it again yesterday. what drives me to do that? for one thing, and this is skeptically speaking, maybe i have recovered quite a bit and i just trying to be resilient and bounce back to my feet.
But the other factor, which i consider to be more influential, is that i know that He calls me back, and He draws me near to Him again. Of course this may be just another thought that i've been playing in my head, trying to convince myself again that He loves me. Well, i have a choice here, whether to keep it like that or start to believe in Him again. I chose the later.
I started to feel like this on saturday when somehow, even though my situation hasn't changed, i felt happy, and inside me, i feel this longing to be with God again. And i know this is the proof that i need. When i was bitter i stopped my devotional time, and i said, "this is me God, if you truly loves me then you will approach me, you will comfort me, without me having to do any praying or reading bible"
And i believe that what i had on sat is God showing His love again, and that moment i started to believe again. Hopefully i will be able to stay this way.
P.S. when i started to believe again, the song from PS 139:7-10 played in my head, and this morning i got an sms from Erika (thanks ka!) about the same verse. So i guess God really won't let me go and I'm thankful for that..
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment